Up, Up, and Away

So yesterday, while trying to seal a leaky sunroof, I was the victim of many low-level flybys. My harrasser was a bluebird. I figured a nest was nearby and the bird was just being protective, so I relocated and went about my fruitless attempt to prevent water from seeping into my car.

Needless to say, I was right about the bird. This morning I took my dogs for a walk, and there was a baby bird, hopping and fluttering his way around my backyard. I'm sure mom was nearby watching, but she gave the youngster some space. I thought about how scary it must be for this tiny bird to be in this huge world. Here I was, short by most accounts but absolutely massive to this bird, along with 2 lunging dogs who wanted nothing more than to see how yummy the bird was. But it paid us no special attention. It hopped and fluttered, occasionally watching us as we walked nearby. Seeing the bird out there on its own, for some reason, made me remember a conversation I had last week.

Have you ever noticed how everything today is about "the children". I don't have children, yet I am in a world where people are constantly worried about kids and what they see (or "might" see) and what they do. People are so paranoid about the prospect of children seeing something they shouldn't. Why can't parents be more like the bird? Why do we have to coddle kids these days? I'm sure people have always focused on "the children", but back when I played T-Ball, not every single kid who wore a uniform was given an award at the end of the year. That happens now apparently. They give "extra special" awards to those who come in first place, but even the Bad News Bears, in today's day and age, would get a certificate of some sort.

Why is this? How is this cultivating any sort of work ethic or drive? When kids display a sense of entitlement, why should anyone be surprised? They don't, on their own, think that they automatically deserve something for showing up; they are trained to be that way by foolish parents, coaches, administrators, etc. This is an age where, so I've heard, some schools don't allow teachers to use red pens when grading papers because it may damage a child's psyche. Seriously? This is a joke, right?

Kids are handled as fragile little objects, like a Faberge Egg or something so precious that it can't be tainted. Meanwhile, they curse, skip school, don't do homework, stay out after the streetlights come on....they do everything that WE did (and more). So who or what are we trying to protect them from? Being a productive member of society? Being a good worker who doesn't NEED a reward in order to do a job...nevertheless a good job.

I don't understand the mentality of people today and their desire to make everything about the kids. Is it wrong for a child to fail school or get a bad grade? Doesn't failing help the child to see that he needs to put forth effort to succeed. Why do parents review their kid's homework? Isn't that the job of the teacher? If little Johnny didn't do his work, he should be penalized IN SCHOOL for it. If he performs poorly on his homework, he should be made to suffer the consequences....just like we did. But not today. Today, parents sit down and DO THE HOMEWORK. Ridiculous if you ask me.

I think parents should be a little more like the mother bird, protective but keeping some distance between themselves and their offspring. Let your kid fall and scrape his knee without you standing at the ready with hand sanitizer. Let your kid earn a "C" and learn how to earn an "A". Let your kid hop and flutter about....eventually he will learn to fly.

Knowing When to Say When

Ever hear that saying, "My mouth gets the best of me"? That is me in a nutshell. I was once asked in a job interview what my greatest strengths and weaknesses were. For each question, I provided the same answer: Passion.

Passion as a strength is a wonderful trait to have. It allows you to experience the ultimate highs, even when faced with the most mundane of tasks. When you have passion, you can make nearly anything enjoyable, and your passionate attitude can become infectious to those around you.

Passion as a weakness is, in many ways, the same thing. It can affect the others around you, but depending on your position in relation to them, it can be terribly influential. Now, sometimes, that is a good thing; there IS strength in numbers. But other times, it can have the opposite effect and can make those in a position above you wary, or angry, or spiteful towards you and those who have taken your lead.

One of the biggest issues I am trying to learn to overcome is my passion and its influence over my mouth. Sometimes I care so much that come hell or high water, I am going to state my peace, and I don't give a damn who agrees or disagrees. And therein lies the problem. I love to argue and debate, and it is that part of me that enters into the mix and throws my passion into a frenzy. It makes me want to shout from the hilltops, "I'm right dammit, and you're too stupid to realize it". Sadly, this isn't always the truth, and while I might not necessarily be right, THEY are not necessarily wrong. Coming to grips with this is a work in progress. Sometimes it takes a kind word to talk me down off the edge of the building before my mouth encourages me to jump---so to speak.

So like the Budweiser ads used to say, I have to know when to say when. When to fight my battles and when to take a back seat and let things play out. Like I said, its a work in progress.

Give It Another Shot

I just returned from my 8 billionth doctor's appointment. First, a little backstory:

In April 2008, I was at work and about to clock out. After a playful tussle with a female co-worker, I lifted her, fireman-carry style, and walked her around the parking lot, eventually arriving at her car. When I lifted her, I immediately saw stars. I had picked her up at an awkward angle, and the torque it created on my back, I eventually discovered, caused a herniation at my L4/5 disc. I have since had back surgery and have seen probably 8 different doctors because the surgical procedure did not resolve the main issue.....the persistent pain in my ass. No, this is no play on words. I literally have a pain in my ass. It never goes away or lessens.

Today, I went to my second appointment with a particular doctor, this one a pain management specialist. I've seen others of his ilk and they were unsuccessful, but at the direction of my most recent physician, I am now seeing Dr. S. He is very straightforward and looks like a mix of Andrew Dice Clay and Sylvester Stallone....but with a Jewish last name. I actually like his No B.S. approach. His recommendation, like many of the others, is to get a shot right into the piriformis muscle, which we believe is the source of my discomfort. This, however, is not my first rodeo. I have had a previous shot into the muscle, but it didn't affect the pain at all----except the one in my wallet as these things can be expensive. Needless to say, he assured me this time it would be cheaper.

Does hope spring eternal? Is Andrew Dice Stallone Rabinowitz my savior or is he just another in a long line of failed attempts? Do I give him one more shot? I am trying to remain positive and think that finally I will get some relief, but I guess that remains to be seen. Perhaps I will get my answer on Thursday after my 8 a.m. appointment. I just have to remember to warn him that, if he is successful, he should be prepared for my celebratory hug since I will hardly be able to contain myself.

Mediate or meditate?

So this morning I had a mediation hearing for a long-standing lawsuit (the second one to be exact) that my homeowner's association, of which I am the President, has pending against our insurance company. To make a long story more tolerable, we were hit by Hurricane Wilma back in 2005, and our insurance company decided that they wanted to do everything in their power to screw us over. We won our original lawsuit. Needless to say, they have asked for, and received, a mediation hearing in order to try to settle before going to court. Our attorney led us down the garden path with claims that "we have them where we want them" and that we could be awarded as much as 9x our original award. Apparently, that garden path is now overgrown with weeds. What we saw as a 7 figure settlement, they see as a 6 figure lawsuit. And all we are trying to do is recoup the monies we have paid out. In the end, we walked away, unsatisfied and dejected.

A few weeks ago, I might have been screaming obscenities and my blood pressure, almost assuredly, would have skyrocketed. But today, I was the level head. I was the one saying that this was the first step and to let the process play out, while others around me were ready to jump from the 18th story window of our meeting place. I think that this path I'm currently pursuing, unlike the false path of our attorney's claim, is what is responsible for my altered mental status today. Today was so not normal for me. Today could almost be classified as temporary insanity and yet it was probably me at my most sane. I think that that is what I am learning---that what I consider to be normal and correct is really crazy and quite wrong. Perhaps not wrong in the grand scheme of wrongs...but still wrong.

As we left the scene of the crime, I thought to myself, "rather than mediate, I should've spent the last few hours meditating". But now, several hours later, I realize that although I wasn't chanting with my eyes closed and focusing on the sensation of my breath at the tip of my nose, today's events were as enlightening as any meditation session could be.