It's all in my head

So, I'm on this "path" to find a better me. To say good words, do good things, and think good thoughts. Along the way, I've dabbled in meditation, and one of the issues that one encounters while meditating is called "monkey mind". This is a state where your mind jumps around from thought to thought during a time when it is supposed to become calmer. It is typical and actually helps one to focus on the actual meditation. In today's world, we are constantly being bombarded from every direction by stimuli. Our minds react to this stimuli, and it is not uncommon to have many thoughts going through our minds concurrently. As a matter of fact, as I write this blog, I am listening to a song from the 80's. I can type, compose, listen, and sing all at the same time, and my mind barely takes notice, yet when I try to relax my mind and focus on one single thing...like my breathing for example...it is incredibly difficult.

So back now to my original intention in this particular blog--thinking good thoughts. Given my profession and the rude nature of far too many people that I encounter on a day-to-day basis, I find it increasingly difficult to not think bad thoughts. Yesterday, as I watched the US Soccer team playing Ghana in The World Cup, there were a couple of guys in the bar, and they were having a lengthy conversation about rugby. Yes, its a fine sport, but there were only 5 minutes left in the extra period, and hearing their conversation incensed me. We were losing! Didn't they know what was going on? The bar was full of patrons, breathlessly hoping to tie the game. It was life and death, and these guys had the audacity to be talking about Rugby!! My friend Justin was having the same reaction as I was and eventually said something....probably much more politely than I would have been. They apologized and returned their attention to the desperate game. But, in the end, it didn't matter...we lost and were eliminated from the tournament. I soon realized that my negative thoughts and the things that I wanted to say distracted me so much from the game, that I had to come home and re-watch the ending.

In retrospect, I'm kind of embracing the not-so-good thoughts as just another example of my monkey brain. If a rose didn't die so quickly, would we find it so beautiful? If I didn't think negative thoughts...and believe me, I do....would I be so receptive to my good thoughts? Is thinking bad thoughts a necessary part of NOT thinking bad thoughts? I think it is, so I'm not going to chastize myself for thinking something bad, I'm just going to try to accept it and move on. Hopefully, I'll have this issue resolved in 4 years just in time for the next World Cup.

Ahhh, the weekend

There is something so wonderful about that drive home on the last day of the work week. Even though my drive lasts all of about 4 minutes, its the decompression of a week's worth of garbage. This week, I only worked 3 days, yet I somehow managed to completely load my mental plate with everyone else's scraps. It is a relief to hear the click of that freshly punched clock and feel the night's humid breath on my face as I leave.



I've always said that I would never "wish my week away". My justification for this statement was thus: so many people, in the midst of their hectic work week , cling to the statement, "I can't wait until this weekend." It made me think, if I were to do that every week that I worked, I would be wishing away 5/7 of my life, and that just doesn't cut it. No, no matter how stressful, mundane, or tiresome my week's events would leave me, I would always embrace the chaos and savor those 5/7. But now as I get older and am in a wonderful marriage, I feel that I am finally able to enjoy the week's end and all that it has to bring. Rather than simply wish for my weekend, I patiently anticipate it....then hug the ever-loving hell out of it when it finally arrives.



This weekend is unlike most. My sister and her family were here last week. They have since departed (more on that later), and now my brother-in-law's family will be coming into town tomorrow. While I absolutely relish ME time, I am content that his kids are coming because I know that it will afford him the chance to satisfy one of MY dreams.....attending a World Cup match. He has tickets for Argentina v Mexico, and he is flying out on Saturday. I hope that, despite the fact that he is travelling with standby flight tickets, he will arrive in time for the game and that it is a magical one. Hopefully, I will be swimming in my own happiness and savoring a US victory over Ghana----I can't wait for that game, but as with my weekend, I am not wishing it to be here. Not yet. I still have 15 and a half hours.....and I wouldn't dream of wishing those away.

And so it begins...

I will forego the usual "Why did I start a blog" mishmash and just get on with it. Everyone has something to say, right? Sometimes, these diatribes can go on and on while other times 140 words are sufficient. For me, I'm approaching a point in my life where I can forsee change is imminent. No, this isn't the typical mid-life crisis that one encounters in the waning months of his 30's. I'm content with my age and my status in life. I have never been one to want, and I could care less for titles and money. I am happy being happy. Rather, the 3 steps of my path involves the following: DO GOOD THINGS, SPEAK GOOD WORDS, THINK GOOD THOUGHTS. This is based around Buddhist principles, something I have been reading about quite a bit lately. I am finding that adhering to these principles is far more difficult than I had anticipated.....but I guess that is why it is a journey. And that is why I have chosen to start blogging; it is the new millenium version of the diary (and hopefully a more masculine method of documenting one's thoughts).