It's all in my head

So, I'm on this "path" to find a better me. To say good words, do good things, and think good thoughts. Along the way, I've dabbled in meditation, and one of the issues that one encounters while meditating is called "monkey mind". This is a state where your mind jumps around from thought to thought during a time when it is supposed to become calmer. It is typical and actually helps one to focus on the actual meditation. In today's world, we are constantly being bombarded from every direction by stimuli. Our minds react to this stimuli, and it is not uncommon to have many thoughts going through our minds concurrently. As a matter of fact, as I write this blog, I am listening to a song from the 80's. I can type, compose, listen, and sing all at the same time, and my mind barely takes notice, yet when I try to relax my mind and focus on one single thing...like my breathing for example...it is incredibly difficult.

So back now to my original intention in this particular blog--thinking good thoughts. Given my profession and the rude nature of far too many people that I encounter on a day-to-day basis, I find it increasingly difficult to not think bad thoughts. Yesterday, as I watched the US Soccer team playing Ghana in The World Cup, there were a couple of guys in the bar, and they were having a lengthy conversation about rugby. Yes, its a fine sport, but there were only 5 minutes left in the extra period, and hearing their conversation incensed me. We were losing! Didn't they know what was going on? The bar was full of patrons, breathlessly hoping to tie the game. It was life and death, and these guys had the audacity to be talking about Rugby!! My friend Justin was having the same reaction as I was and eventually said something....probably much more politely than I would have been. They apologized and returned their attention to the desperate game. But, in the end, it didn't matter...we lost and were eliminated from the tournament. I soon realized that my negative thoughts and the things that I wanted to say distracted me so much from the game, that I had to come home and re-watch the ending.

In retrospect, I'm kind of embracing the not-so-good thoughts as just another example of my monkey brain. If a rose didn't die so quickly, would we find it so beautiful? If I didn't think negative thoughts...and believe me, I do....would I be so receptive to my good thoughts? Is thinking bad thoughts a necessary part of NOT thinking bad thoughts? I think it is, so I'm not going to chastize myself for thinking something bad, I'm just going to try to accept it and move on. Hopefully, I'll have this issue resolved in 4 years just in time for the next World Cup.